Niagara Falls – U.S. and Canada: September 14-15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Two Hospice Visits – No Walking!
After over three weeks I would have one day when I didn't have to walk.
It was Monday and I would visit Niagara Hospice in Lockport, New York and Hospice Niagara in St. Catherine's, Ontario. The fact that they were about 50 miles apart and separated by a river and the Canadian Border would make things interesting.
Returning to Niagara Hospice
I’d met Pat Evans, one of the founder members of Niagara Hospice, back in 1988. She met me at the Rainbow Bridge by Niagara Falls had my visit to Niagara Hospice all planned.
As we walked in to the building, I was introduced to the hospice director, John Lomeo, a big, warm-hearted Italian American. John's smile and personality made me feel right at home.
Twenty one years ago, when I last visited, Niagara Hospice was just about to help its first patient. Now, the hospice helps 160 people every month.
John showed me around the Niagara Hospice residential building. The hospice house was incredible. Antique-looking furniture, paintings, art work, even a model ship and stylish decor added character and warmth to the building. Lounge areas, a huge aquarium with stunning tropical fish and a relaxation room with soothing music and lights, all added to the atmosphere of the hospice house. John made me feel instantly at home.
Staff, volunteers and guests had been invited to hear me talk. I wolfed down some fruit, eggs and a muffin and gave my presentation.
For me it was marvelous: to see the hospice house and all the staff gathered was very different from back in 1988, when Niagara Hospice had just begun.
My story was well received by the warm hearted people in the room. The atmosphere was emotional.
In the presentation I said that I was hoping to find stories from the hospices that I visited.
A Hospice Wedding: The Story of Stacey and Matt
“Have we got a story for you!” said John as he began to show pictures of a young couple in love.
Kim Pearce, the admissions nurse took up the story. A young woman called Stacey, who was just 26, had been admitted to Niagara Hospice.
At the hospice she met a young man called Matt, who was visiting his mother in hospice. Matt and Stacey fell in love. Their time together though would not be long.
A wedding was planned for November of 2009. Stacey's illness though progressed faster than was expected. The wedding date was moved from November to July.
As Kim, told the story she was struggling to hold back tears. I, too, was holding back tears, as were many in the room.
Kim told of how the wedding date had to be shifted back even further...until it was decided that the wedding would have to be held on July 17th. That meant there was less than one day to organize the wedding.
The Hospice Team Swung into Action
The Mayor of Niagara waived the usual 24-hour time limit between applying for and issuing a marriage license.
Stacey had picked out the color for the bridesmaids dresses, but they hadn't been made. As luck would have it one of the bridesmaids had sung at a wedding just a short time earlier and the dresses for that wedding were the exact same color. Amazingly the dresses from that wedding fit the bridesmaids for Stacey and Matt's wedding.
Niagara Hospice cooking staff provided food and a cake. A local jeweler provided the rings with one hour’s notice. A local food store provided a second cake. A local florist provided flowers. An organist was found and arranged music with two hours’ notice.
The decision to have the wedding had been made at 3.30 pm, by 7.00 pm on July 17th, Stacey and Matt were married, in the presence of 30 friends and family.
Seeing Kim struggling to tell the story without crying and seeing the pictures of Stacey and Matt, dressed for their wedding, with smiles on their faces had me in tears. Niagara Hospice had made Stacey and Matt's dream come true.
It was only a matter of days later that Stacey passed away.
The Visit Breathed Life Back Into Me
The visit to Niagara Hospice was amazing. The building, the warmth of the staff and volunteers breathe life back into me.
During an open house session I talked to volunteers and members of families who had been helped by the hospice. The gratitude of the people who had been helped was plain to see on their faces.
I was introduced to a woman I will call “M” who was staying in the hospice house. As I entered the room a social worker was explaining about my walk. M was in bed, with her hair looking beautiful. The social worker was chatting with M and I joined in, telling some of the stories about what I had been up to on the walk. To see the care that was given and to see M smile touched my heart. It was good.
I said goodbye to M and said my goodbyes to the hospice staff that I had met. In all I had been at Niagara Hospice for eight hours. The experiences were priceless.
On Into Canada!
Over the Rainbow Bridge by car, and through Canadian Immigration, all went well. On the Canadian side a Hospice Niagara volunteer called John Gregor picked me up and drove me to Hospice Niagara's Stabler Centre, a residential hospice house at St. Catherine's.
Volunteers at Hospice Niagara
The volunteers appreciated my stories and many bought the book, which raised some money for Hospice Niagara.
One of the hospice volunteers called Olive McKinley, talked to me about being from Belfast. We talked a little bit about Ireland and Olive told me she would be cooking me breakfast, along with a woman called Carol Reynolds.
Both of them were on cooking duty for the residents of the Stabler Centre Hospice House. It was good to meet and talk to the volunteers.
The looks of appreciation on the faces of the volunteers meant a lot to me.
Jane Gordon spent some time showing me the best way to walk from Niagara Falls to Grimsby. Alicia showed me the room that I would be staying in and introduced me to three of the nurses, Sandy, Sandie and Maria. I talked about my walk and, again, the nurses were glad that I was walking for hospice.
The visits to the two hospices had gone well. I went to bed happy.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Morning at Stabler Centre Hospice House
I woke at 7 am and packed my gear. By 8 am I walked into the kitchen at the Stabler Centre Hospice House of Hospice Niagara. Olive and Carol cooked me bacon, eggs, toast, home fries, but also gave me a wonderful fruit salad, with peach, strawberries, banana and blueberries. It was great to have some fruit. A cook called Mia arrived to supervise the breakfast for the residents. I thanked Olive and Carol. With the hearty breakfast I was set up for the day.
Jane Gordon talked to me about the hospice house. A man called Eric Stabler had bequeathed his estate to the hospice, after his wife Gwen had been looked after by hospice volunteers. Jane told me that there were now about 200 hospice volunteers. Funding for the Stabler Centre was about 50% from the Canadian Ministry of Health and 50% from fund raising and memorial donations. As well as having residents, the centre was used as a day hospice, where 25 hospice clients could come to take part in activities, such as arts and crafts, playing cards, having entertainments such as belly dancers and theatre performances. Volunteer drivers would pick people up from Niagara Falls and other towns in the area. Emotional and psychological support was given, along with physiotherapy, occupational therapy and social work.
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Jane introduced me to Laurie Straw, who was services coordinator at the centre. Laurie showed me into one of the rooms, just as a woman was being brought in for care. The hospice nurses settled the woman in and her husband was introduced to members of the hospice support team.
Laurie wished me luck with the walk.
My visit to Hospice Niagara was just about over. A volunteer driver called Ken took me to a tourist information office to buy some maps of Ontario, then dropped me at the Rainbow Bridge. It was time to get walking again.
On the Road Again: Leaving the Canadian Falls
I took photos of the falls and walked up Clifton Hill Road. Beyond the falls were tourist attractions: wax works, houses of horror and a ride where you fell vertically from a huge height.
From Clifton Hill I turned onto Victoria Avenue. There was a quiet bench and I sat there for an hour making phone calls and sending e mails.
It was about 12 as I walked slowly up Ferry Avenue and on to Lundy Lane. The weather was hot, with clear skies, as it had been for weeks now. I felt tired and sluggish. At a Dairy Queen I ordered a banana split. It was huge.
It was one of those days when I could tell I wouldn't get far. A Canadian Post Office in a big pharmacy building was a great place to have my photos put on to a disk and have them sent off to NHF.
A Fellow Traveler – With a Different Motivation
As I walked on from the pharmacy I saw a man wheeling a bike that was covered in camping gear.
I got talking to the man. His name was Bill Parker. He had ridden his bike from Alberta and had ridden 10,000 miles.
“Are you doing the walk for a cause, Bil?”' I asked.
“My wife divorced me,” he said with a wry smile.
“Ah, that's reason enough.” I said. Bill had gone through nine tires and two chains. I shook his hand and wished him luck. Bill pedaled away and I got back to walking.
As I left Niagara Falls I passed numerous gentleman's clubs and dubious looking massage parlours. Ahead stretched the green countryside of southern Ontario.
The plan was to walk to Font Hill and up to Vineland.
As I walked a young woman called Amy stopped in her car and gave a $20 donation for hospice.
The road crossed the Welland Canal and a Tim Hortons provided a stop for food and an iced cappuccino.
Hipwell’s Motel and Some English Folk!
Through Font Hill I walked on, but I stopped at about 4.30 when I came to Hipwell's Motel. The motel was run by a lady and her husband who came from Walsall, near Coventry in England. It was good to talk to English people again, after almost a month on the road.
My plan was to leave the motel at about 2 am to try to reach Grimsby and be picked up by Durham Hospice for a visit to their office in Whitby, near Toronto. By 10 pm I fell asleep.
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