The Good Folks at Hospice Buffalo: September 10 (cont’d) – 13, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009 – entry #2
Good Conversations with a Hospice Worker and a Hospice Patient
I would be spending the night at Saint John Baptist/Hospice Buffalo House.
When I got there, Rose Collins introduced me to Deb Manzella, the nurse in charge of the hospice house.
Deb was finishing her shift at 7 pm, but introduced me to Susan Trabert, the RN on duty, as well as Yavodka Bishop, the LPN and Michelle Walker, who was the nurse’s aide on duty that night.
The nurses were eating some pasta and I joined them. Susan and Yavodka had to go check on medications, but Michelle had a few minutes to talk to me.
Three Jobs, but She Loves This One the Most: Michelle’s Story
“Do you enjoy working here?” I asked.
“Well, I look on it as a privilege to be able to help the people here. I'm working three jobs at the moment, but this is the one that I will stay with.”
I was amazed when Michelle said she was working three jobs. She explained: “On Monday, Wednesday and Friday I take care of one lady for 3 hours. She has emphysema. I check that she is OK, clean her oxygen lines, give her medications and help her with a nebulizer. Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays I work at a children's hospital. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday I work here at Hospice House. Friday is my day off.”
I would have said Michelle was in her thirties, but it turned out she had a daughter of 28, who was studying for a masters in criminal law and another daughter who was studying for a masters in communications and computing. I was amazed when Michelle said she was 46.
“How come you look so young?” I asked with a smile.
“It's my Mom's good genes. She's 83 now, but looks ten years younger. My Mom had 14 children, so I've got 7 sisters and 6 brothers. We had a big family reunion. My Mom had 42 grandchildren, 21 great grandchildren and 4 great, great grandchildren there.”
Michelle was easy to talk to.
“So are you going to keep doing the 3 jobs?”
“I'm going back to school soon, to complete my LPN training. I'll keep up taking care of the one lady and still work part time here.”
“What is the best part of working in St. John's Hospice House?”
“The people we take care of here are wonderful. You get to know them,” she said simply. “We do whatever we can to make them comfortable. Of all the jobs, this is the one that makes me the happiest.”
Talking With “G”, a Hospice House Resident
Michelle had to get back to work. By now it was almost 7 pm. Deb Manzella popped into the kitchen and said she would like me to meet one of the residents of the hospice house, a woman who I will call just “G” here to protect her privacy. G's daughter had just left, after a visit, and G was in the lounge area. After Deb made the introductions I sat with G on one of the sofas. I told G that I was walking across the U.S. to help hospices. In no time we were chatting away about what made hospice so special.
“What is the best part about being here?” I asked.
“The best part is that sometimes I forget I'm ill. I think the nurses here have been sent down from heaven.” As G said this she had a wry smile on her face.
“How long have you been staying here?”
“About four months. I was at home, having hospice people visit me, but they got worried I might have a fall. I didn't want to give up my home and independence. I took some convincing to come here, but now I'm here it's good. You get to keep your dignity.”
We talked for about an hour. G looked tired, but was also glad to be talking to me. I asked about her family. Her family had Polish ancestry. She had four children: three boys and her daughter.
She told me, “My husband died 14 years ago. Hospice helped him back then. I don't know how I would have coped without help from the hospice here. When it came to me needing hospice help for me I didn't want to admit I needed it. Now, though I look on the nurses here as my second family.”
“Is there anything that has changed for you since you came here?” I wanted to see how G felt about the hospice house.
“Now I don't put things off. You have to make the most of what you've got. You never know what's around the corner. I think, too, that more people should take advantage of the hospice for long term care.”
The talk with G was wonderful. We arranged to meet up for breakfast at 8 am. G shook my hand and walked to her room.
For a short time I talked to Jacob, the security guard on duty and I got Jacob to take a photo of me with the three nurses on duty.
With that done I walked back to the guest room that I was staying in.
It was a good day.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Starting the Day with Good-Natured Banter
I woke at 7 am, showered and was at breakfast by 8 am. G was at breakfast, but the other residents were either still asleep or having breakfast in their rooms. With just two of us sitting in the kitchen area we were thoroughly spoiled by the day staff who had now come to work: Deidra Ledbetter (cook), Amber Zeigler (housekeeper), Camille Cates (home health aide), and Melissa Spikes-Archer (nurse).
As G and I ate fruit, cereal, toast and drank coffee and juice, the staff asked me questions. They checked that I remembered their names and were delighted when I did. G told me that Camille made sure that the residents got out of bed regularly. One day in bed was OK, but then Camille would have them up and moving. G also said that Deidra's pot roast was out of this world.
While we were having breakfast Melissa flitted in and out, like a whirlwind of energy. She asked me if I was married and if I had children. I was wearing army trousers (mostly because the pockets are useful) and Melissa asked if I had “earned my pants”. I told Melissa that no, I hadn't earned them...just bought them. It turned out that Melissa had been in the Army before becoming a nurse. Melissa also asked me where my wedding ring was, to which I answered that my wife was keeping it safe for me.
The good natured banter between the four staff on duty filled the kitchen with life. I posed with the women for a photo. I said that in the photo I looked old and grey and they looked beautiful. They all liked that! Before I left to pack my gear up Deidra, Camille and Melissa all gave me a hug and Melissa said I was adorable. The life and atmosphere that those four brought to the place was incredible.
$133 in Donations to Hospice Buffalo
Buffalo Hospice had arranged for me to give a talk and sign books at their campus in Cheektowaga. At 10:30 Rose Collins' assistant Gina picked me up and drove me to the hospice campus at Cheektowaga.
There I had a quick tour of the two inpatient units, was introduced to staff and gave my presentation to people in the canteen. A number of books were sold and it all went well. I gave $133 that had been given to me to Rose for Buffalo Hospice.
The Walk Resumes
With most of my gear back at St. John Baptist Hospice House my pack was light. Rose dropped me back at the August 25 Restaurant. As I was setting off to walk the truck driver Ed pulled up and climbed out of his pickup truck.
“Geez you still here?” He had a big smile on his face.
“I'm just heading off now,” I called, as I swung my pack into place and headed down the hill into Wales Center.
It was about 2:15 pm and the plan was that I'd walk until about 7:00 pm. Rose’s assistant would find me on the road and drive me back to Saint John Baptist/Hospice Buffalo House
An easy five-hour walk followed. The sky was overcast and the temperature in the high 60's. It was perfect. At 3:00 pm I phoned home to my wife Monica and son James. It was good to talk to them.
After that I walked nonstop from 3:00 pm until 7:00. The walk took me through East Aurora, where new steaming hot black top and road surfacing was being carried out. By 7 pm I'd made it to the West Seneca East High School. By 8 pm I was back at the hospice house.
Buffalo Wings with Deb
Deb Manzella is a freelance writer and wanted to write an article about my walk. She suggested we go to the Anchor Bar to do an interview there. The Anchor Bar was the home of the original “Buffalo Wings.”
When we got to the bar, Deb gave the waitress her name and I got two pints of Guinness from the bar. The Guinness was perfect, smooth dark black with a creamy off white head and no bitter afte taste. It was good. Deb had a small recorder and she had me talk about my walks. In no time we were called to a table to the right of a live band
Deb ordered extra spicy wings .Pretty soon I had spicy sauce over my fingers and face. After weeks of fast food it was great to eat food that had some kick to it. With the food bringing me back to life and the Guiness washing it down I felt great.
Deb asked me what the walk was all about. I said that the walk was a way to meet people and find their stories. Everyone has a story and mine was how I had walked half way around the world to help hospice.
Maori Wisdom
Over the noise from the band I told Deb how I had stayed with Maori people, down in New Zealand. One of the Maori beliefs was that it is through our songs stories and deeds that the universe unfolds.
By being who you are supposed to be you honor the god who made you. By not doing what you are supposed to do you reduce your god to silence. I think the Maoris made a lot of sense. So here I was, being who I was supposed to be and using my story and the stories of those around me to make a difference.
Gifts of Music
With the wings and beer gone it was time to head back to hospice house.
Before Deb headed off I gave her three CDs of music that I carried with me. The CDs had music by Fleetwood Mac, Pink Floyd, the Doors, Otis Reading, Al Green, T-Rex, Aretha Franklin and many others.
All in all it had been a great day.
Saturday, September 23, 2009
Walk Before the Talk
Saturday morning saw me eating breakfast with G once more. I had to eat quickly as April from hospice was picking me up at 8.30. The plan was that I would walk until 1:00 pm. At 2:00 pm there was an open house back at the hospice house, where I would talk to visitors and the residents.
April dropped me at Center Road where I had walked to the day before.
The day went well. Through Cheektowaga and up Union Road I walked. By 1 pm I was close to the end of Union Road and about 20 miles from Niagara Falls.
Open House at the Saint John Baptist/Hospice Buffalo House
The hospice volunteer coordinator, called Sue drove me back to hospice house, where Deb was busy preparing for the open house. Deidra had made a carrot cake, Deb had made scones, there was coffee and there were residents, their relatives, and staff members there.
At 3 pm, once people had eaten, I gave my presentation. Four of the hospice house residents were at the talk. . No one fell asleep during the talk and they liked the pictures. The Reverend Daphne Chapman arrived with a hospice nurse called Cheryl Hill. They had been told the wrong time for the presentation, but I gave the two of them a private viewing of the images from 1988.
When the open house was over I packed up my gear, ready to leave on Sunday morning. A new shift of nurses was working: Alicia Gillon-Harper, Eileen Chatmon, Anna Nicosia and Michelle who I had met on Thursday night. Later on two more nurses called Peggy and Debbs came in too.
By 11 pm I went to bed.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Reflection on a Wonderful Stay
The stay in Buffalo had been marvelous.
In 1988 Buffalo Hospice had taken care of about 25 patients a day, mostly in their own homes.
Buffalo Hospice had grown in 21 years to take care of 600 patients a day. The three hospice in-patient units now took care of 32 people. The hospice had also started a separate program to help children with serious illnesses.
It was all impressive, but what impressed me most was the warm hearted staff who brought life to Hospice Buffalo.
When I had arrived I had bad blisters on my feet and had been tired. As I left on Sunday I was happy and my feet had almost healed up.
At breakfast I said goodbye to G, two nurses called Cindy and Christie and a lively cleaner called John.
Time to Move on Once More
The hospice chaplain Bob Fink came to pick me up. Bob was a big warm-hearted character. He took me back to the end of Union Road and waved as he drove off.
From meeting people and being kept busy, it was back to the long road. Twenty miles or so lay before me.
Union Road turned into Sheridan and Sheridan intersected with Niagara Falls Boulevard. By 9.30 I set off, at 11 am I had food at a Burger King.
Reconnecting with an Old Friend from 1988 in Niagara Falls
By 5 pm I was 3 miles from Niagara Falls. I phoned Pat Evans from the roadside by Route 62. Pat was a founder member of Niagara Hospice and I had met her back in 1988. It would be great to see her again.
Through the town of Niagara Falls I watched the street count down from 19th to 10th, to 1st.
And there on a corner by a parking lot was Pat and her husband, Rich.
They took my pack in their truck and drove me to Goat Island to take photos of the falls. We talked about Pat and Rich's sons and their grandchildren and I told them about Monica and James.
Back at Pat's house I had a wonderful home cooked dinner of zucchini bake and salad, followed by ice cream and blueberries. Rich did my laundry, I got a shower and at about 11 pm I tried to write my blog. As I did so I was falling asleep. I gave up on
writing and at midnight fell asleep.
